XX ADULT PUNS!

What do ugly chicks and mopeds have in common?
They are both fun to ride
Till
Your friends catch you on one.


I'm not saying she's easy
But
she's been at more bedsides than Dr. McDreamy.

"So this really drunk, obnoxious guy kept bothering me at the party last
weekend."
"What happened?"
"Well, he cornered me, pulled his thing out of his pants, and asked me, 'Do
you want to taste it?'"
"Oh, My God! What did you do?"
"Well, I think I handled it pretty well. I just said, 'No, you go ahead. You
don't have enough to share.'"

According to a recent issue of Nature Biotechnology, scientists have
implanted human DNA into female goats.
Is that really new?
Lonely farmers have been doing that for years.

"I've had it with my wife." said one drinking buddy to the other. "I'm
filing for an divorce."
"Sorry to hear that pal." said his partner.
"May I ask why?"
"I found her supply of birth control pills." said the first
"Listen, Frank, with all due respect to your religious beliefs, I just can't
see leaving your wife for what the church says is a sin."
"It ain't just that,Frank. I had a vasectomy over five years ago."

Have you heard about the gigolo in the leper colony?
Everything was fine until his business started falling off.
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and
explaining the phenomenon of 'mixed emotions'.
The husband turned to his wife and said,
"Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will
make me happy and sad at the same time."
She said:
"Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis."

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine
until he stuck his index finger up my butt!
Do you think I should change dentists?

A pompous minister was seated next to a Texan on a flight to Dallas.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Texan asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before
him.
The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust,
"I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my
lips."
The Texan looked at the minister, then handed his drink back to the
attendant and said,
"I didn't know we had a choice."

Good girls prefer the missionary position
Bad girls do too, but only for starters
Naughty girls add some new chapters in the Kama Sutra.