APHORISM:

A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE, CLEVER OBSERVATION;
A GENERAL TRUTH OR ADAGE

1. The nicest thing about the future is,
 It always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog,
But only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humour,
You probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is,
When you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child
Who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager
Who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because
They demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that, at class reunions,
You feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a dog
&
You'll find a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than
The boy who anxiously awaits his 16th birthday.

11. There are no new sins;
The old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4AM:
It could be the right number.

13. No one ever says,
'It's only a game' when their team's winning.

14. I've reached the age
Where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print.
There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is
Not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize in about 40 years
We'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -
But somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Rolls Royce than on a Bus.

19. After 70 if you don't wake up aching in every joint,
You are probably dead.