About Marriage ..

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

My wife and I were very happy for twenty years. Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months; I don't like to interrupt her.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying".

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". The next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine".

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire".
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman
replied "A billionaire".

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only
seems longer.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your
laundry done free.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.