XX - Adult Puns!

She was a very patriotic prostitute.
She charged only $17.76, but she did it only with minutemen.

Mrs. Grayson was taking care of some correspondence when her
precocious six-year-old daughter ran in and tugged at her sleeve.
"Mommy, can I have a baby?"
"Of course not, dear," her mother replied, without missing a keystroke.
"Are you sure?" the little girl persisted.
"Very sure. Now run along, dear"
As she ran to rejoin her playmates in the yard, the child called out,
"OK, fèllas, same game!"

"Isn't the moon lovely?" she sighed.
"If you say so," answered her boyfriend. "I'm in no position to say."

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
family values. Bill said,
'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied,
'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'

The Dean of an all-women Christian college was lecturing her students
on sexual morality.
"In moments of temptation," said the speaker to the class, "ask
yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of
shame?"
A somewhat less-than-virginal-looking student in the back of the room
rose to ask a question of her own:
"How do you make it last an hour?"

She was only the architect's daughter but she let the city surveyor!

A couple bought themselves a squirrel pet.
One night they went out for dinner and locked the squirrel in the closet.
Later that night a thief broke into their house.
The thief was in the process of stealing the couple's valuables when
he heard the couple's car arriving home.
The thief then immediately hid in the closet.
The owners came into the house, and went straight to bed.
But in the middle of the night they were awoken by a scream.
The husband opened the closet to see the thief squirming on the floor.
The husband immediately bound the thief tightly with some rope and
asked what made him yell so loud.
The thief replied in pain,
"When your damn squirrel mistook my ass for a hollow in a tree -- I
held out; then it mistook my balls for nuts, I gritted my teeth; but
when it decided to carry the nuts into the hollow I screamed."

If Guinevere gave Lancelot, I wonder how much Galahad

A woman walked into the pharmacy and asked for a vibrator.
The pharmacist gestured with his index finger and said,
"Come this way."
The woman replied,
"If I could come that way, I wouldn't need a vibrator!"

Our bikinis are exciting.
They are simply the tops.