XX - Adult Puns!

Two girlfriends are having a conversation about their boyfriends when
the first one says, "My boyfriend said he fantasized about having two
girls at once."
The other replies,
"Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?" I said,
"If you can't satisfy ONE woman, why would you want to piss off TWO?"

The evangelist was haranguing the crowd and carrying on and on about sin -
"The wages of sin are high." he bellowed.
A young man sitting in the back yelled out,
"Not if you can find somebody who'll do it for free."

Harold's lawyer is requesting the charges be dropped on the grounds
that Harold's relationships have all been moo-nogamous.

A pebble in your shoe like a form of birth control because it makes you limp.

A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out
of the second story window and lands squarely on his head.
Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door
and starts pounding on it.
An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock so loudly.
The passerby asks,
"Who's in your upstairs room?"
The elderly man replies,
"I can't see how it's any of your business. But, since you must know,
my daughter and intended son-in-law are upstairs."
The passerby hands him the used condom and says,
"Well, I just wanted you to know that your intended grandchild fell
out the window!"

Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
When it's a girl

An American business man visiting Helsinki has a hooker sent to his room.
When they are done, he says:
"I'm afraid my Finnish isn't very good."
The hooker says,
"Your foreplay isn't too hot either."