XXX ADULT PUNS!

There was a young lady named Gray,
Who was asked to make love in the hay.
She jumped at the chance
And took off her pants,
She was tickled to try it that way!

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said,
"Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old
bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a
story.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never
misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a
hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he
neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the
water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot
the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the
animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do
you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said,
"Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds
into that

A popular blonde cheerleader bounced into the local card shop, looked
around, then approached the clerk.
"Do you have any, like, real special birthday cards?" she asked.
"Yes, we do," he replied. "As a matter of fact, here's a new one. It's
inscribed, 'To the Man Who Was My First'"
"Wow, neat!" she squealed. "I'll take the whole box."

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier.
With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in
the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier.
In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked
your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses." "Warehouses?" the
private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"