X Puns of the Day

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.


One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....


Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


If man evolved from monkeys and apes,
Why do we still have monkeys and apes?


The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad
girls live.


I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,
"Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.


What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If a deaf person swears,
Does his mother wash his hands with soap?


If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
Is it considered a hostage situation?


Is there another word for synonym?


Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"


What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an end angered
plant?


If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?