XX ADULT PUNS!

A Doctor recently had a patient 'drop-in' on him for an unscheduled
appointment.
"What can I do for you today?" the Doctor asked.
The aged Gentleman replied,
"Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get
all bleary, my legs go weak, I can hardly catch my breath. Doctor, I'm
scared!"
The Doctor, looking at his 86 year old patient, said,
"Mr. Smith, these sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man
of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these
symptoms?"
The old gent replied,
"Well, three times last night, and twice again this morning!"

Misconception:
A pregnancy that begins while using birth control?


A man's whole life could be changed by a fortuitous slip of the rubber.


An old woman was taken to a gynaecologist for the very first time, and of
course the gynaecologist was a very young and handsome fellow.
The doctor was very thorough in his examination, and of course the old woman
was quite embarrassed throughout the whole examination.
Finally, the exam was over and the doctor told her to get dressed and come
in to his office to talk about his findings.
The old woman listened intently as the doctor gave her the results.
She then said she really only had one question for him.
The doctor said,
"What is the question you have?"
"Tell me young man, does your mother know how you make a living?"

A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
The lady sitting next to him asked,
"Are they your babies?"
He answered,
"No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints."

A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with
her sex life.
The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a
clear picture of her problems.
Finally he asked,
"Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?"
"Well, yes, I did once."
"Well, how did he look?"
"Very angry"
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and
he said,
"Well, that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me,
you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that
seems somewhat unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that time?"
"He was looking through the window at me."

I'm not saying she's a slut,
But
If dicks were cars, her mouth would be a parking garage.