Not Blonde jokes, Blond Jokes

A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond
man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take t

hem to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get
there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

A woman phoned her blond neighbour man and said: "Close your curtains the
next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and
laughing at you yesterday." To which the man replied: "Well the joke's on
all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."


A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the
shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry
hair, and I've just wet mine."


A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy,"
he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to
me." The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."


A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO
NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it
up. (I had to think about this one a minute)


A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No!" he shouts, "this is her
husband!"

A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly, he has to swerve
to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he
tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your
air freshener swinging about!"

A blond man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don't
you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still
missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he
replies.

A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his
feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says
the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

(This one actually makes sense.)

An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall
backwards off their boats?" To which the blond man replies: "If they fell
forward, they'd still be in the boat."