XX Geordie

 A small zoo in Newcastle acquired a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.

The gorilla was in heat and to make matters worse, there was no male gorilla

available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Geordie

Elliott, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning the

animal cages.

Geordie, like many Newcastle men, felt he had ample ability to satisfy

any female. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution so

 Geordie was approached with a proposition.

Would he be willing to mate  with the gorilla for £500?

Geordie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the

matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would

accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

·         "Forst", Geordie said, "Nee kissin' on the lips."

The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

·         "Secund", he said, "Ye cannit nivva tell neebody aboot this."

The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

·         "Thord", Geordie said, "Ah want aall the bairns raised as
Nuwcastle fans."

Once again it was agreed.

·         4. "And last of all", Geordie stated,

"You Gotta givvme another week to come up with the £500"