XX - ADULT PUNS!

Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after
realizing that "iTouch Kids" is not a good product name.

One working girl told another,
"I had a customer today who promised me a seventeen carat ring, a twenty-one
carat bracelet, and a thirty-two carat necklace."
The other girl cautioned,
"Watch out, Deane. With all those carats he'll expect you to act like a
rabbit!"

Many Aussies prefer sheep to women because sheep don't get upset if you
screw their sisters.

Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to
it by arousing his jealousy. "What would you say if I told you that I've
been sleeping with your best friend?" she asked provocatively. "Well," he
mused, "I'd say that you're a lesbian."

There's something about women that attracts me, and I'm trying to put my
finger on it.

The difference between a mosquito and a blonde is
When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.

Bob pulled up a stool at his favourite bar and announced,
"My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!"
"What makes you say that?" the bartender inquired.
"Last week," Bob explained, "I had to take a couple of sick days from work.
Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman, the
postman, the paperboy, the UPS man, and several of the neighbourhood guys
came by, she'd run down the driveway, waving her arms and hollering,
"My husband's home! My husband's home!"

A Kinsey interviewer was questioning a Bronx housewife.
The question was:
"What do you think of Sex?"
"I wouldn't be without it," she replied. "It's one of the best department
stores in New York!"