XX ADULT PUNS!

Brutus sees Julius Caesar leaving an orgy.
He asks Caesar how he did.
Caesar answers,
"Ate two, Brutus!"

A newlywed couple who were both avid baseball fans attended a Cubs "Loveable
Losers" game.
They were still on their honeymoon and very affectionate, hugging and
kissing so much that they weren't able to follow the game. In order to be
able to follow the game better the young bride says,
"I've got an idea, honey. You kiss me on the strikes and I'll kiss you on
the balls."

There's no business like show business,
But
There's no job like a blow job.

The Democratic party is considering changing its emblem from a donkey to a
condom because
It expands with inflation,
Limits productivity,
Encourages cooperation,
And
Gives you a feeling of security,
Although
You know you're getting screwed.

The football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba had so many women
hanging around that he couldn't possibly handle all of them.
So, one day he asked Bubba,
"Just what the hell is your secret?"
So, Bubba replies,
"Well Coach, whenever I'm about to have sex, I always whip my cock out and
bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw 'em
forever!"
The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom.
He heard his wife in the shower.
Seeing a window of opportunity, he tore off his clothes and started banging
his cock on the dresser.
His wife stuck her head out of the shower and said,
"That you, Bubba?"

If you have a psychotic fixation and you go to the doctor and you want these
two fingers amputated, he will not cut them off.
But he will remove your genitals.

I have more trouble getting a prescription for valium than having my uterus
lowered and made into a penis.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
They're both filled with stiffs,
But
You come in one, and go in the other!

Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as the evening progressed,
he found himself more and more attracted to her.
After some really passionate embracing, he said,
"Tell me, do you object to making love? "
"That is something I have never done before, " Jill replied.
"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin? " Jack was amazed.
"No, silly! " she giggled. "I've never objected! "

Define 'Wicker box':
What Elmer Fudd wants to do to Paris Hilton.