Thursday, August 10, 2006

XXX - What is a KISS? (funny but bad)

1) What is a KISS?
It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.

2)
Latest Statistics:

What men do after sex?

2% eat .

3% smoke cigarettes .

4% take shower .5% go to sleep .

86% get up and go back home to their wives .



3)
Why is your dick better than a credit card?

1.Once spent recharges itself.
2.It is accepted worldwide.
3.You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.



4)
LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neigh bor's son has a penis like a peanut!

MUM:
You mean it's small?
LITTLE GIRL
: No it's salty!!!


5) A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.


6) A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.

The lady sitting next to him asked
: Are they your babies?

MAN:
No,I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.



7)
Women top 5 lies:


5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can't do that to my best friend.
2. I won't gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming! I am coming!!!



8) A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic.
She says: What is that? He says
: We go Home, screw, and then you disappear.


9) What is the closest thing to a woman's period?

Your
SALARY
... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come, you are F*CKED!!!


10 )
Teacher asked
: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied
: The legs...because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".



11)
Teacher:
Why did you bring your cat to school?
Pupil :
Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say

"
TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY
".



12) What's the difference between a
panty and a stage curtain
??
Answer
: When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.



13)
AGES OF VAGINA
:

&n bsp; -16 to 19
BRAND NEW.

-20 TO 28
SLIGHTLY USED

-29 TO 36
SECOND HAND
-37 TO 45
SUBJECT TO REPAIR
-46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION

-56 TO 60
TOTAL WRECK
-61 TO 70
CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!!!!!!!



14)
MUM: Didn't I tell you if stranger touches your breast say "DON'T". And if he touches your pussy say STOP!
GIRL :
But mum, he touched both, so I told him
DON'T STOP!!!!"


15) GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES

9 INCHES -
Oh Shit, pain!!
7 INCHES -
Oh, I'm in heaven
6 INCHES -
OH PERFECT
5 INCHES - UMMMM OK

4 INCHES -
PUSH MORE
3 INCHES -
IS THAT IN???
2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!