Dating is a serious game.

Read the two parts and date older women!
 
PART 1
 
Hidden Signs Of Dating!The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hiddensigns, those tiny give away gestures that can tell you so much about aperson. Train yourself to recognize these key "signs."1. Man gets in car without opening door for woman.- No foreplay.2. Can't hail a cab.- Impotent.3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant.- Prefers virgins.4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant, but gets lost on the way.- He is a virgin.5. Wants to go to a French Restaurant.- Will swallow.6. Takes too long deciding what to order.- Has trouble reaching orgasm.7. Insists on ordering for you, saying, "The lady will have..."- Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't.8. Asks for "the usual"- Insists on missionary position only.9. Asks what the specials are.- Will want you to use handcuffs.10. Fills up on bread and crackers.- Premature ejaculator.11. Drinks decaf.- Fakes orgasms.12. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts.- Needs you to talk dirty during sex.13. Credit card is refused.- Low sperm count.14. Under tips waiter.- Small penis.15. Uses toothpick.- Is trying to tell you size isn't everything.
 
PART 2
 
Advantages of dating older women...An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of thenight and ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older womandoesn't care what you think.An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A youngerwoman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.An older woman is a cheaper date.  A younger woman will costyou 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after acup of herbal tea.An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the daywithout looking like she just had an adventure inside a jamjar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.Older women can run faster because they're always wearingsensible shoes.There's no need to be phobic about "committing" to an olderwoman - the last thing she needs in her life is another clingy,whiny, dependent man.Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you thatyou are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young womanwill say nothing, just in case it means you might break up withher.Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can'thelp you when you need to start replacing your old fillings.An older woman will never accuse you of "using her."  She'susing you!Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dialPizza Hut Take out.An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. Ayounger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you,in case you get any ideas...Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having anaffair, because somehow they always know.Older women often own an interesting collection of lingeriethat they have acquired from admirers over the years. Youngwomen often don't wear underpants at all, thus practicallyeliminating all possibility of a strip-tease.Older women know what Kegel exercises are.An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for ameal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front ofsomebody that they might possibly boff later.Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screamingmatch with you in the middle of the night in a public park.An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirementto go on an amusement ride.An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best yearsof her youth because chances are someone else has stolen themfirst.