Questions on Sri Lanka
The questions below about Sri Lanka, are from potential visitors.They were posted on a Sri Lankan Tourism Website and the answers arethe actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have asense of humour.Q: Does it ever get windy in Sri Lanka? I have never seen it rain inSri Lanka on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit aroundwatching them die.Q: Will I be able to see wild elephants on the streets? (USA)A: Depends how much you've been drinking.Q: I want to walk from Colombo to Matara - can I follow the railroadtracks? (Sweden)A: Sure, it's only hundred miles, take lots of water.(image placeholder)Q: Is it safe to run around Wanni in Sri Lanka? (Ireland)A: So it's true what they say about the Irish.Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Sri Lanka? Can you send mea list of them in Colombo, Galle, Kandy, Kurunegala, Matara andAnuradhapura? (UK)A: What did your last slave die of?Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Sri Lanka?USA)A: Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.Sri-Lanka is that small island south of India in the Indian Ocean.Sure, the hippo racing is every Thursday near Diyawanna Oya. Comenaked.Q: Which direction is Jaffna? (USA)A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you gethere and we'll send the rest of the directions.Q: Can I bring cutlery into Sri Lanka? (UK)A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.Q: Heard Brian Adams and MLTR were in SL. Can you send me theentertainment schedule? (USA)A: Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Thursday by the DiyawannaOya straight after the hippo races. Come naked.Q: Can I wear high heels in Sri Lanka? ( UK)A: You are a British politician, right?(image placeholder)Q: Are there supermarkets in Colombo is milk available all yearround? (Germany)A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.Milk is illegal. Try Arrack instead.Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Sri Lanka who can dispenseRatlesnake serum. (USA)A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. AllSri Lankan snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled andmake good pets.Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Sri Lanka, but Iforget its name. It's a kind of huge animal that are dressed andtaken in pagents. (USA)A: It's called an Elephant. You can scare them off by sprayingyourself with human urine before you go out walking.Q: Do you have perfume in Sri Lanka? (France)A: No, WE don't stink.Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Canyou tell me where I can sell it in Sri Lanka? (USA)A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (Germany)A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
