WHAT IS A FATHER?

A father is a person who is forced to endure childbirth without an anaesthetic.
He growls when he feels good and laughs very loud when he is scared
half-to-death.

A father never feels entirely worthy of the worship in a child''s eyes.
He is never quite the hero his daughter thinks.
Never quite the man his son believes him to be.
And this worries him sometimes. (So he works too hard to try to
Smooth the rough places in the road of those of his own who will follow him.)

A father is a person who goes to war sometimes...and would run the
other way except that war is part of an
Important job in his life (which is making the world better for his
child than it has been for him).

Fathers grow older faster than other people, because they, in other
wars, have to stand at the train station and
Wave goodbye to the uniform that climbs on board.

And, while mothers cry where it shows, fathers stand and
beam...outside... And die inside.

Fathers are men who give daughters away to other men who aren't nearly
good enough, so that they can have children that are smarter than
anybody's.

Fathers fight dragons almost daily.
They hurry away from the breakfast table off to the arena, which is
sometimes called an office or a workshop.
There they tackle the dragon with three heads: Weariness, Works, and Monotony.
And they never quite win the fight, but they never give up.

Knights in shining Armour; fathers in shiny trousers. there's little
difference as they march away each workday.

And when Father passes away, and after a good rest, he won't just sit
on a cloud and wait for the girl he's loved and the children she bore.
He'll be busy there too...repairing the stars, oiling the gates,
improving the streets, smoothing the way.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FATHER WHEN...
      1. You know you're a father when, your famous last words are,
"Ask your Mother."
      2. It use to be wine, women and song! Now it's kool-aid, Mom and Barney!
      3. You use to walk to school in three feet of snow, uphill both
directions!
      4. You know what "Honey Do's" are.
      5. You Favourite Football Team is in the Little Leagues!
      6. Everything starts with, "Well, when I was a kid."
      7. You start sounding like your Father!
      8. You can't understand how your six year old, turned sixteen over night!
      9. You can recite the entire McDonald's Menu by heart!
    10. You look at your children's sleeping little faces, and tears
come to your eyes!

THINGS DAD WILL NEVER SAY.
      10.) Well, how about that! I'm lost. Looks like we'll have to
stop and ask for directions.
        9.) You know, pumpkin. Now that you're thirteen, you'll be
ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
        8.) I noticed that all your friends have a certain negative
attitude. I like that!
        7.) Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. Go crazy!
        6.) What do you mean you want to play football? Figure skating
not good enough for you, son?
        5.) Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend. You
might want to consider throwing a party.
        4.) Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably
one of those doo-hickey thingies. You know, that makes it run or
something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
         3.) No son of mine is going to live under this roof without
an earring. Now, quit your belly aching and let's go to the Mall.
         2.) What do you want to go and get a job for? I make plenty
of money for you to spend.
         1.) Father's Day? Ah, don't worry about that. It's no big deal!