Wedding ring in the ER

A man went to the ER to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis.
According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girlfriend found the
ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum
jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep. Now you
decide what's worse:

1) Having your girlfriend find out that you're married.

2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.

3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.