Wal-Mart vs. Heaven.

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers.
Literally, here are the similitude's I have noticed between the
Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.

Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates.
Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors.

Heaven: Eternal.
Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours.

Heaven: Where old people go when they expire.
Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire.

Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God.
Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone.

Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God.
Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers.

Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin.
Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint.

Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder Lives Peacefully.
Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every Day Low Prices.

Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident!
Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!