Friday, January 26, 2007

xxx - New Words for 2007

TESTICULATING . Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline

was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER . A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps

on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS . The process by which people seem to absorb success and

advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of >spending an entire day swimming

upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM . An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING . When someone yells or drops something loudly in a

cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.

(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs . Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What

yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to

stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD . single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY . A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and

whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE . The fine art of whacking the crap out of an

electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE . The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above

the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often

profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to

solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless

paperwork and processes.

404 . Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message

"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND . That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that

you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McSHIT . Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of

buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff

member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is

known as a McShit with Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE . One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a

'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS . Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a

booze cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS . The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home

after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live,

how you got here, and where you've come from.

GREYHOUND . A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely

impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there

worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH . A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you

go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS . The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're

in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so

the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI . The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning

before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-

Pinter in your bed instead.

PICASSO BUM . A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she

looks like she's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women