SMART ASS ANSWERs

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in
front. "What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.


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SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat.
She said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

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SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock
boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.
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SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up
for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his
car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and
says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of gas."

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SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter
and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write
the exam with your OTHER hand."