US Kids - Gems of Wisdom..

The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays
from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students of USA. As
one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young
scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"

1. "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

2. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

3. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes
them perspire."

4. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas."

5. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

6. "To prevent milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow."

7. "The parts of speech are lungs and air."

8. "The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."

9. "A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing
the population."

10. "Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris."

11. "The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the
top and you sit on the bottom."

12. "The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at
the top and plural at the bottom."

13. "Iron was discovered because someone smelt it."

14. "Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners."

15. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone
was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for
this.

16. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire
's in the East and the sun sets in the West.

17. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in
the fall when the apples are falling off the trees.

18. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice
for the same offence.

19. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

20. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of
that name.

21. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.
Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very
large.

22. The Greeks were a hi ghly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth.

23. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to
spring up.

24. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63
years.