Sex, church & pancakes
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her
daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact
the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful
and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on
birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the
woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
Church:
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to
shake the preacher's hand He said "Preacher, I'll tell you,
that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't
use profanity."
The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I
put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher said, "No shit?"
Pancakes:
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their
little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned
about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared,
"Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there
was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."
