This is HILARYous
New admittance rule for Heaven
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you
had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go
into effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The
Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man,
"Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when
you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my
lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in
sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and
yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony
and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
The nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell
to the ground.
But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke
his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more.
In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get my
hands on to throw at him.
Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I
unplugged
it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It
plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and
died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a
bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven ," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was
Donald Trump.
"Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day
was like when you died."
Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the
balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been
under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I
guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the
side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below
mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment,
starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some
trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right
away.
As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in
excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off
the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me
instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. "I
could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the
Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven ," and he lets Trump
enter.
A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost
too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the
Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell me what it was
like the day you died."
Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......"
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you
had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go
into effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The
Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man,
"Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when
you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my
lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in
sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and
yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony
and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
The nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell
to the ground.
But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke
his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more.
In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get my
hands on to throw at him.
Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I
unplugged
it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It
plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and
died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a
bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven ," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was
Donald Trump.
"Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day
was like when you died."
Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the
balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been
under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I
guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the
side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below
mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment,
starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some
trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right
away.
As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in
excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off
the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me
instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. "I
could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the
Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven ," and he lets Trump
enter.
A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost
too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the
Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell me what it was
like the day you died."
Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......"
Moral of the story: Never hide in the referigerator when you are so high up above ground....
