peanuts n chipmonks

A young lady, visiting the London zoo, asked the keeper where the
monkeys were.

Keeper: "They're in the back, having sex."

Young lady: "Would they come out for some peanuts?"

Keeper: "I don't know. Would you?
 

My Personal Comment: I would probably say leave the peanuts by the door... and get the hellouta here. How about you?
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 Las Vegas Churches 

 THIS  MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT
 THERE ARE  MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

 NOT  SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO
 CHIPS  RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.


 SINCE  THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE
 DEVISED A METHOD  TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.


 THE  CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN
 MONASTERY FOR  SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF
 ORIGIN AND CASHED  IN.


 THIS  IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS...!


 YOU  DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU..?