XX ADULT PUNS!

There was old guy named Lee,
Who was stung in the balls by a bee,
He made oodles of money,
By oozing pure honey,
Every time he attempted to pee.

We live in a crazy world.
Turn the men upside down and they're all nuts.
Turn the women upside down and they're all cracked.
Turn them both upside down and they're all screwy.

A pair of stage-door johnnies are ogling the cuties who are leaving the
dressing room.
"Do you see that redhead over there? I feel like screwing her again."
"Wow," said his buddy, "Do you mean to tell me you've been doing it with
that great looking broad?"
"No, I felt like it before, and I feel like it now."

The difference between light and hard is:
 You can sleep with a light on.

A woman asked the Doctor,
"What is a good time for sex?"
Doctor winked and said,
"Between noon and 1 PM."
Surprised woman asked,
"And how it is that, Doctor?"
Doctor said,
"Well, that is the time, my nurse goes to lunch."

Pick up Lines:
I love every bone in your body.
Especially mine!

The judge looked down at the attractive plaintiff.
"You claim that the defendant stole your money from your stocking?"
"That's right, Your Honour,"
"Well, why didn't you resist?"
The girl blushed and lowered her eyes. "I didn't know he was after my money,
Your Honour."

If I were ever date raped I would want it to be to;
'Whole Lotta Love' by Led Zeppelin.(

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon,
People are going to think we are nuts.

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one
morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of
breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's vigour and asked him what he did
to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said,
"Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and
you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said,
"Do you have any Italian bread?"
She said,
"Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said,
"I want 5 loaves."
She said,
"My goodness, 5 loaves -- by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be
hard. "
He replied,
"I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me."

Down with pants!
Up with miniskirts!