XX = ADULT PUNS!

There once was a rug-weaver from Karthoum,
Who used to carry young boys to his room.
In the height of his fever,
This Suitenese weaver.
Is what we call a fruit-of-the-loom.

Pick up Lines:
Call me Fred Flintstone,
Because I'll make your Bedrock.

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says,
"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies,
"If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

A teacher said to her little student Susie,
"Punctuate the following sentence:
Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Susie thought for a moment and began her reply,
"Let's see, 'Fun period. Fun period. Fun no period. Worry, worry, worry!'"

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.
He said,
"I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the
kitchen and said to the cook,
"The trucker out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of
headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place
is . .. An auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of
headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices
of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde.
She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans
and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked,
"What are the bean s for, Blondie?
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires,
head lights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

Vibrator:
Device used by an expectant mother during pregnancy which makes the
baby stutter when it starts to talk.

Finally, having scraped enough money together for a trip to the
Bahamas, Todd arrived, only to learn that the hotel at which he wanted
to stay, the St. Regis, charged $200 a day.
Although that included a continental breakfast, the pool and free
golf, he simply couldn't afford that much money.
Dragging his gear around town, he finally found a hotel every bit as
nice, but it only cost $50 a day.
Settling in, he decided to get in a few rounds of golf before sunset.
Bringing his clubs to the hotel course, he went to buy a three-pack of
balls from the pro shop.
"That will be $100," said the man behind the counter.
"What?" screamed Todd. "That is outrageous! They're free at the St. Regis!"
"Yes," said the man, "but at the St. Regis they get you by the rooms.
We get you by the balls!"

What's the height of conceit?
Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

An officer was called to the scene to investigate an indecent exposure
complaint by an angry woman at a local bar.
"It was just a simple misunderstanding, sergeant," the man said to the
policeman. "you see, this woman and I were drinking at the bar and she
asked me what I wanted most in a woman, so I showed her."

It didn't take long for the feminists in the office to get up in arms
about the notice posted in the executive lounge:
"Any vice-president whose secretary is ill or on vacation may take
advantage of the girls who work the reception desk.

A little boy walks in on mommy and daddy having sex.
He asks,
"What are you doing?"
Mom responds,
"I am letting the air out of daddy's stomach."
The boy replies,
"Why mommy! When you leave, the neighbour girl comes over and blows it
right back up!"