XX ADULT PUNS!

In days of old
When knights were bold
And no one was particular,
They lined them all
Against the wall
And f*cked them perpendicular!

Brutus:
"How many women did you have oral sex with last night, Caesar?"
Caesar:
"Et TU, Brutus."

The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted
sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there.
Type in:
'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire'
And the computer will say,
'Specify type of goat.'"

Another name for pickled bread is;
Dill-dough.

A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a bridal shop and asks
for a white dress.
"You can't wear white.", reminds the sales clerk, "You've been married three
times already."
"Of course I can, I'm a virgin!", says the bride.
"Impossible", says the sales clerk.
"Unfortunately not", the bride explained. "My first husband was a
psychologist. All he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a
gynaecologist. All he wanted to do was look at it. My third husband was a
stamp collector. God I miss him"

Macho:
Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Two Swedish sisters go into a photo place to get their picture taken.
Not being very educated, they question each other on what the photographer
is doing.
When he goes under the black cloth, one sister turns to the other and asks:
"Vots he goink to do?"
Her sister answers,
"He's going to focus!"
The second cries,
"Both of us?"

Pick up Lines:
I lost my teddy bear.
Will you sleep with me?

Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mom that the boys keep
asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them.
Mom said:
"You should say 'No!' They only want to look at your undies."
Susie said:
"I know they do, that's why I take them off first and hide them in my
backpack."

Once a king, always a king,
But
Once a knight's enough.