XX - Adult Puns!

A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory.
After two months she gave the boss a two-week notice.
The boss was quite unhappy to let her go, since she was hard working,
knew her tasks etc.
He called her into his office.
"But why?" he asked.
"Nothin', I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.
"Look, I'll give you a raise."
"No," she said.
"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me why."
"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her
underwear and pointed to her pubic hair,
"Look! I haven't had this before. It's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."
Tickled by her youthful innocence, he too took off his underwear and
showed his, and said,
"Ha ha... My dear... it's nature. Look! I have it too."
"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only
do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as w ell!"

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

A group of prisoners are in their rehabilitation meeting.
Their task for the day is to each stand up in turn, speak their name,
and admit to their fellow inmates what crime they committed.
The first prisoner stands and says,
"My name is Gabe and I'm in for murder."
Everyone gives him approving looks and pats on the back for admitting
his wrongdoing. The next guy stands up and says,
"My name is Rich and I'm in for armed robbery."
Again, there is a round of approving looks.
This goes around the circle until it gets to the last guy.
He stands up and says,
"My name is Eli, but I'm not telling you what I'm in for."
The group leader says,
"Now, come on Eli, you have to admit it to us to make any progress.
Tell us what you did." "Ok then," agrees Eli, "I'm in for fornicating
with dogs."
Everyone is disgusted.
One in the group shouts out,
"That's sick! How low can you go!?!"
"Chihuahuas", replies Eli .

How are an actor and a rabbi different?
You might want to take a look at the actor's collection of clippings.

A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island.
For twenty years he never sees another human being.
Then, one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes
half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood.
He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for clams,
and eating fruits and berries.
She says,
"Well, what did you do for love?"
He says, "Love? What's that?"
She says, "I'll show you."
She shows him.
Then, she shows him again.
Then, she shows him one more time.
When they're finally done, she says,
"Well, how do you like love?" He says,
"It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."

What's the difference between dark and hard?
It stays dark all night.