Mans world

Oldie but still great ...

HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
Boyfriend along shopping

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford :

Dear Mrs Lewis,

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the
Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Oxford is
Considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your
Husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our
Surveillance cameras:

1. June 15th:  Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
Trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2nd:  Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
Intervals.

3. July 7th:  Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
Products aisle.

4. July 19th:  Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... And watched what happened.

5. August 14th:  Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15th:  Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
Told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor
Gas stove.

7. September 23rd: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,  he
Began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8.. October 4th:  Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
Mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10th:  While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
Antidepressants were.

10. November 3rd:  Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November  6th:  In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
Using different size funnels.

12. November 18:  Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21st:  When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
The foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And last, but not least:

14. November 23rd:  Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
Then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'