XX- Adult Puns!

Faced with some of the world's strictest anti-drug laws, some addicts
in Malaysia are sniffing fresh cow dung to get high.
The cow dung emits gases like sulfur, and addicts sniff on these gases
to get high.
This gives new meaning to the comment,
"Wow man, this is some good shit."

Two policemen, one a rookie, the other an older red neck cop, were
making their rounds through a lover's lane type of spot, when they
spied a very young couple fooling around in a tent.
"Cletus, what should we do?"
The rookie cop always deferred to his more experienced partner.
Cletus spat some tobacco juice on the ground.
"Bo, we tell the little punk to scram, and then we have some fun with
little Miss Purty, or we throw 'em both in jail. That's what we do!"
Cletus told Bo to go first, and Bo did.
The boy ran off into the woods and Cletus watched the tent shake,
rattle and roll for the next ten minutes.
The girl didn't seem to be too upset that her little boyfriend was gone either!
Bo came back to the car zipping up his uniform, and Cletus went
drooling to the tent. Cletus entered and said,
"Now, little girl, you're gonna find out what it's like with a real man."
From under the blanket, Cletus heard an incredulous familiar voice say,
"Daddy?"

Q: Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A: Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast
and puts him to sleep first.

There is a raffle at the local Jewish Community Center and prizes are
being drawn.
"4th prize, which goes to Hymie Himmelfarb, is a Rolls Royce."
Huge applause.
Hymie goes up to collect his keys and shake hands.
"3rd prize, which goes to Frank Myers, is a Rolls Royce and a check
for $10,000."
Huge applause.
Frank goes up to collect his keys and check and shake hands.
"2nd prize, which goes to Abe Epstein, is a piece of fruit cake!"
Ghastly silence.
Abe goes up to the stage to the presenter.
"What do you mean, a piece of fruit cake? 4th prize was a Rolls Royce,
3rd prize was a Rolls Royce plus a check for $10,000, so what the hell
do you mean a piece of fruit cake for the second prize?"
 "Ah," says the presenter, "This is special fruit cake. It's made by
the Rabbi's wife"
"Fxxk the Rabbi's wife" says Abe, hysterically.
"What? You want the first prize as well?" came the reply.

Did you hear about the new high school course?
Intercourse.
You go between periods and you are expected to come.

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was
having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely
impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth
control and, until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the
woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying,
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"