Grand-children's Stories.
1. She was in the bathroom putting on her makeup under the watchful
eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before.
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave the little one said,
"But Gramma you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about
kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was and I told him 62.
My grandson was quiet for a moment and then he asked,
"Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed a grandmother changed into
old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.
As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious her
patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room
putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
As she left the rooms she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like:
"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed taking this all in.
At last she said
"I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandma do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo and I said,
"No, how are we alike?''
"You're both old" he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word processor.
She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know" she replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet so I
decided to test her.
I would point out something and ask what colour it was.
She would tell me and was always correct.
It was fun for me so I continued.
At last, she headed for the door saying,
"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
insects.
Still a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did Billy whispered,
"It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with
flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I wasI teasingly replied.
"I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear Grandpa" he advised "mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma guess what?
We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother more than a little surprised tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting" she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple" replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'I and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic:
"Give me a sentence about a public servant" said a teacher.
The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
"Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure" said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one
day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back" said one child.
"No" said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close.
"They use the dogs" she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.
"Oh" he said, "she lives at the airport and when we want her we just
go get her.
Then, when we're done having her visit we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth!
He teaches me good things but I don't get to see him enough to get as
smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny!
When they bend over you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
