(Classic Laffadays)

A Christian, a Muslim, and a Jewish man, all very pious, met at an
inter-faith congress and got to talking about the experiences that had
lead to their religious devotion.

The Christian recounted being on a plane when it ran into a terrible
storm over a remote wilderness area.
"There was lightening and thunder all around us. The pilot told us to
brace for the crash. I dropped to my knees and prayed to God to save
us. Then, for a thousand feet all around us the wind calmed and the
rain stopped. We made it to the airport. And since then, my faith has
never wavered."

The Muslim then told of a terrifying incident on his pilgrimage to Mecca.
"A tremendous sandstorm came up out of nowhere, and within minutes my
camel and I were almost buried. Sure I was going to die, I prostrated
myself toward Mecca and prayed to Allah to deliver me. And suddenly,
for a thousand feet all around me, the swirling dust settled and I was
able to make my way safely across the desert. Since then I have been
the most devout of believers."

Nodding respectfully, the Jewish man then told his story.
"One Sabbath I was walking back from the temple when I saw a huge sack
of money just lying there at the edge of the road. It had clearly been
abandoned, and I felt it was mine to take home. But obviously this
would have been a violation of the Sabbath. So I dropped to my knees
and prayed to Yahweh. And suddenly, for a thousand feet all around me,
it was Tuesday."

A blonde named Anna had a near death experience.
The other day when she went horseback riding.
Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control.
She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off.

Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in
the stirrup.
When this happened, she fell head first to the ground.
Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even
slow down.

Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart
manager happened to walk by and he unplugged it.

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye:
$500 Porsche! New!
The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500,
and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot.
So, he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost
brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?"
Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and
took it back to the lady's house.
"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could
have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and
sent him the money."

A blonde, a brunette and a read head are stuck on an island.
For years and years they live there, until one day they find a magic lamp.
They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a genie.
The genie says,
"Since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette goes first,
"I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and
my life-- I just want to go home" ... POOF she is gone.
The the red head makes her wish,
"This place sucks, I want to go home too" ... POOF she is gone.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.
The genie says to her,
"My dear what is the matter,
"I wish my two friends were here" ...
POOF!!!

Weird Fact of the Day:
Termites have been around for over 250 million years.

If a man is alone in his house and breaks wind,
Will it be as satisfying as doing it in front of his wife?