Application for a WIFE

FISHERMAN: Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms &
clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph
of motor boat.

SALESMAN: Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original,
genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's
around is now looking for a wife.

MATHEMATICIAN: Wife require to complete the formula of my life.
Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed
to help further my family unit.

IT CONSULTANT: Well there is definite room for improvement in my
life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is
slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to
improve efficiency. Compatibility coud be an issue.

CAR DEALER: Wanter a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife.
Should be in excellent working condition.

PILOT: Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed
applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her
feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul.
And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!

BANKER: Wife wanted, who takes interest in me and credits me with
her service.

ACCOUNTANT: Required a girl - 5'8 - 36 - 24 - 36 - with a good head
for figures. She must be averse to making unnnecessary expenditure
and her vey nature should be one of generating as few expeses in my
life as possible.

DOCTOR: I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life.
However if you feel the need for a second opinion then its fine by me.

ARMY COMMANDO: My mission in life is to find myself the perfect
wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a
compass. She who dare wins. Camouflage provided.

ASTRONAUT: I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life.
Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this
world!!!