Mathematics, Sri Lankan-style

I find it most alarming that Sri Lankan schools teach our children the
wrong things. I mean: can the children really apply what they are
taught in school later in life? For example, can you imagine a
mathematics question in a recent examination as follows?

"If an egg costs 5 Rupees, and if you buy one-eighth of the egg, how
much would you have to pay?" Who in heaven's name will want to buy
one-eighth of an egg? The shopkeeper will probably think you are crazy
and he will be equally stupid to break the egg and measure one-eighth
for you. Yet, this is how they structure the questions in Sri Lankan
schools. Why not pose questions that would be more useful later in
life when you go out into the world to earn your living?

To help Sri Lanka 's Ministry of Education to face the realities of
life, we are suggesting some questions they could use in our
classrooms:

QUESTION 1
If you drive from Colombo to Matara and there are four traffic cops
with speed detectors along the way, and if each speed trap would cost
you Rs. 1000 in fines, how much in fines would you accumulate by the
time you reach Matara?

ANSWER (Choose one)
1. I would not suffer any fines as the oncoming cars would flash their
headlights and I would slow down before coming to the speed trap.
2. I would only need to pay a total of Rs 800.00 as I would pay a Rs
200.00 bribe to the each cop.
3. I would not be stopped as I am a SLFP minister and so I am
exempted from all road laws.

QUESTION 2
If your company is awarded a Rs. 250 million government contract, and
you make a 20% profit, how much profit would be at the end of the
contract period?

ANSWER (Choose one)
1. I will not be making a 20% profit as I would have to pay Rajapakse
brothers 75 % for getting the contract.
2. I would make 30% profit, which is the progress payment I receive,
after which I will abandon the project and let the government call for
re-tender.
3. My company will not make any profit at all as I will siphon out all
the profits to my overseas accounts and show a loss to avoid paying
tax.

QUESTION 3
If the SLFP obtained 45% of the popular votes in the last election and
won 112 or 49% of the seats, and if it saw an increase of 10% in votes
this election, how many more seats would it gain?

ANSWER (Choose one)
1. SLFP will not show a 10% increase in votes, as it will stuff the
ballot box with another 20% to give it a 30% vote increase.
2. JHU, Hakeem and Thondaman will jump to them if SLFP looks like
forming a government and they will make it a majority anyway.
3. SLFP has already decided it will win 90% of the seats and the votes
have nothing to do with it.