SL Humor ....
A primary school teacher explains to her class that she is a JVP. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were JVP too. Not really knowing what a JVP was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A small girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a JVP."
Then, asks the teacher, what are you? " I'm a proud UNP.", boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.. She asks the girl why she is an UNP.
"Well, My Thathi and Ammi are UNPers, and So I am UNP too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Ammi was a moron, and your Thathi was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says the little girl, "I'd be a JVP."
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Mahinda Rajapakse is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy . . .
. . . on the corner with a box. Curious he runs over to the child and
says, "What's in the box baba?"
To which the little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
Mahinda laughs and says, "Who do they support?"
"You ," the child says.
"Oh that's very good," Mahinda says and he runs off.
A couple of days later Mahinda is running with his buddy Wimal and he
spies the same boy with his box just ahead. Mahinda says to Wimal, "You
have to check this out" and they both jog over to the boy with the box.
Mahinda says, "Look in the box Wimal, isn't that cute? Look at those
little kittens. Baba tell my friend Wimal whom they support."
The boy replies, "Ranil."
"Whoa!", Mahinda says, "I came by here the other day and you said they
support me. What's up?"
"Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open now."
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A man goes to the President's House sometime after November 18th and asks
to see President Chandrika Kumaratunge...
The guard on duty tells the guy that Chandrika isn't President, and to
please leave. The man goes away.
The next day he comes back and asks to see President Chandrika
Kumaratunge. The guard on duty reminds him that Chandrika is not
President, and to please go away.
The man goes away. The next day, he comes back again, and again the same
guard is on duty. The man asks to see President Chandrika Kumaratunge, and
the guard, his patience worn out, says, "WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING HERE
ASKING FOR HER? CHANDRIKA IS NOT PRESIDENT ANYMORE!!!"
The man smiles and says, "I know, I just like hearing it."
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In a train carriage there was Mahinda, Ranil, Rosy Senanayake and Chandrika.
After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel,
and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel,
Mahinda had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
Rosy thought "That rascal Mahinda wanted to touch me and by mistake, he
must have put his hand on Chandrika, who in turn must have slapped his face"
Chandrika thought "That dirty Mahinda laid his hands on Rosy and she
smacked him".
Mahinda thought "Ranil put his hand on Rosy and by mistake she slapped me".
Ranil thought "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Mahinda again"
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A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.
A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked him, 'What's your IQ?'
The man replied, '150.' So the robot proceeded to make conversation about
Quantum physics, atomic chemistry, and so on.
The man listened intently and thought, 'This is really cool.'
The man decided to test the robot. He walked out the bar, turned around,
and came back in for another drink. Again, the robot asked him, 'What's
your IQ?'
The man responded, '100.' So the robot started talking about Cricket,
Teledramas, and so on.
The man thought to himself, 'Wow, this is amazing.'
The man went out and came back in a third time. As before, the robot asked
him, 'What's your IQ?' The man replied, '50.'
The robot then said, 'So, you going to vote for JVP again?'
