Cheating Husband

Arthur sat brooding at his favorite bar. "Charley," he said to the bartender, "I'm a rat. I've got a lovely wife at home and instead of appreciating her, I've been out getting into trouble with another woman. But a guy can reform. I'm going home right now, Charley, and I'm going to tell her everything, beg her to forgive me, and start all over again as a model husband." Thereupon, Arthur paid his tab, went home, told his wife everything, and begged her to forgive him so he could start over. "I'll forgive you on one condition, Arthur," his wife said. "I want to know the name of the woman." But Arthur wouldn't tell. "Was it Susan Lopez?" she asked. "I see how she's always looking at you." "I can't tell you dear," he said. "I'll bet it was that Simpson bitch," the wife declared. "My lips are sealed," said the husband. "I know," exclaimed the wife, "its that slut Paula Higgins." The next day Arthur was again at the bar and Charley the bartender asked how he's made out with his good resolution of the night before. "Well, it's a mixed bag," said Arthur, "My wife didn't quite forgive me, but she did give me three pretty good new leads."