Can you do better?

A first grade teacher, Mrs Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the
third grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in third
grade too."
Mrs Brooks had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While
Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal
what the situation was. The principal told Mrs Brooks he would give the boy
a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to
the first grade and behave. She agreed Johnny was brought in and the
conditions
explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"
Johnny: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade
should know. The principal
looks at Mrs Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade."
Mrs Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him, some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree.
Mrs Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only 2 of?
Johnny, after a moment "Legs."
Mrs Brooks: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Mrs Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T, is hairy, oval and
delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"
Johnny: "Coconut."
Mrs Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Johnny takes charge.....
Johnny: "Bubblegum."
Mrs Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and
a dog does on 3 legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.....
Johnny: "Shake hands."
Mrs Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' questions, okay?"
Mrs Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do."
Johnny: "Tent."
Mrs Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first."
The principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Johnny: "Wedding Ring."
Mrs Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver?"
Johnny; "Arrow."
Mrs Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in K and means a lot of heat
and excitement?"
Johnny: "Fire truck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send
Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"