XXX- Good stuff

A blonde had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, “If you can read this
you’re too damn close” embroidered on her panties and bra.
“Yes Madame,” said the clerk. “I’m quite certain that could be done.

Would you prefer block or script letters?”

“Braille,” she replied.

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When opening a can of Carnation evaporated milk for your recipes, just smile and think of this:

A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked around her family dairy farm since she was old enough to walk,

with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940’s, she read an advertisement

offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with “Carnation Milk is best of all…”

She said, “I know all about milk and dairy farms…I can do this!”

She sent in her entry, and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house… a man got out and said, “Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1,000, even though we will not be able to use it….”

Here is her entry:

“Carnation milk is best of all,
no tits to pull, no hay to haul,
no buckets to wash, no shit to pitch,
just poke a hole in the son-of-a-bitch.”

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A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his Mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.

The Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly

and goes to find him. The son sees his Mom and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?”

The mother replies “Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.”
“You’re wasting your time,” said the boy.
“Why is that?” asked his Mom, puzzled.
“Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”

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