Picture these on a T-shirt!

1. I'm confused, no wait... maybe not.

2. Despite the look on my face, you're still talking?

3. Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent.

4. Let me drop everything and work on YOUR problem!

5. Dyslexics Untie!

6. Embarrassing my children: Just one more service I offer.

7. HERE I AM. Now what are your other two wishes?

8. I'm not fluent in IDIOT, so please speak slowly and clearly.

9. Mess with me and you mess with the whole trailer park!

10. I never make mistakes. I thought I did once but I was wrong.

11. 333 - I'm only half evil.

12. I would do me.

13. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him,
is he STILL wrong?

14. To err is human. To blame someone else shows management potential.

15. Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.

16. I'm RETIRED... go around me.

17. I'm not an alcoholic (alcoholics go to meetings) - I'm a Drunk.

18. SQUIRRELS: Natures little speed bumps.

19. Can't feed 'em - Don't breed 'em.

20. Work Hard - Millions on welfare depend on it.