Random Thoughts

1. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

2. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

3. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

4. I can see clearly now, the brain is gone . . .

5. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

6. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

7. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

8. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

9. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

10. I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.

11. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

12. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

13. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!' till you can find a rock.

14. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

15. If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

16. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

17. Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.

18. Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

19. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

20. Do witches run spell checkers?

21. Demons are a Ghouls best friend.

22. Copywight 2006 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

23. Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat.

24. Department of Redundancy Department.

25. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

26. Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.

27. Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

28. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

29. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

30. Every morning is the dawn of a new error . . .

31. The beatings will continue until morale improves.