Golfing jokes

A golfer set up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit the ball into a clump of trees. He found the ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3 wood, he took another mighty swing; the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of heaven, St Peter saw him coming and asked "Are you a good golfer?", to which the man replied

"Well, I got here in two, didn't I?"


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The bride came down the aisle, and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs by his side.

She asked "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"