My Resume

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,

   but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack
it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it --
mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but

that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef--figured it would add a little spice

to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it...
couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found

I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't

have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered

I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,
but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center , but they said I wasn't
fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a
job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because

it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!