Thursday, August 12, 2010

Advice from a retired husband

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at
them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an
oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary
for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job,
both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show
her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she
gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at
her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she
gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at
the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some
home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as
soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit
on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really
appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done
before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think.  For example, she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly
bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or
worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch
it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush
so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then
wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact
is one of my strong points...

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished
mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.. I tell
her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one
for herself, she may as well make one for me, too...

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol
Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody
knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this
earth to help each other.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police
report says he was found with a Callaway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha
Driver II golf club jammed up his butt, with barely 5 inches of grip
showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was
arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10
minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Ron,
somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.