Wonderful Definitions...

School:A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all  your life so that
you can die Rich.

Nurse:A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her masters.

Tears:The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine   waterpower.

Lecture:An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of     the students without passing through "the
        minds of either"

Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the   biggest piece.

Dictionary:A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody  disagrees later on.

Father:A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:A guy no different from the rest.... except that he got caught.

Boss:Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classics:Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.

Etc.:A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:Individuals who can do nothing  individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.