The Ten Commandments of Marriage

Commandment 1.Marriages are made in heaven. But, so again, are thunder and
lightning.

Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3. Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of
marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbors listen.

Commandment 5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be
sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble
starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking
about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you
finish.

Commandment 8. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9. Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.That is
why a wife treats her husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is
finished!