XXX ADULT PUNS!

Close first cousins got caught sneaking
Having sex in the barn squeaking.
And though it's unlawful
They weren't all that awful;
At least,relatively speaking.


The American Indian Counsel has repeatedly requested that the NFL
disassociate itself from using objectionable Indian names over the last few
years.
The Washington Redskins, finally agreeing with that request, will therefore
change their team name to the Washington Foreskins in honour of all the
pricks in Washington, DC.
Changes are to take effect immediately.

Guy in bar:
"I'm here to fulfil your wildest dreams."
Gal:
"No shit! Have you really got a donkey and a German shepherd?"

"It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm
sucking his dick."
"You know what?" replies Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard."
They turn to the third blonde and ask,
"When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?"
"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"
"You're crazy," one of the blondes pipes up. "A good blow job is the best
way to keep a guy. You should try it."
She says she'll think about it.
The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blow job novice is sporting
a wicked shiner.
"Whoa!" the first blonde asks. "How did you get that black eye?"
"Chris hit me when I was blowing him," she says.
"What on earth for?" the second blonde asks.
"I don't know," she replies. "All I did was tell him how strange it was that
his balls were so warm, seeing as how Pete's and Richard's are so cold."

Good:
The teacher likes your son.
Bad:
Sexually.
Worse:
He's gay.