X Adult Limericks

THERE ONCE WAS A FARMER FROM LEEDS
WHO SWALLOWED A PACKET OF SEEDS
IT SOON CAME TO PASS
HE WAS COVERED WITH GRASS
BUT HAS ALL THE TOMATOES HE NEEDS
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A BATHER WHOSE CLOTHING WAS STREWED
BY WINDS THAT LEFT HER QUITE NUDE
SAW A MAN COME ALONG
AND UNLESS WE ARE WRONG
YOU EXPECTED THIS LINE TO BE LEWD
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THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET
WHO KEPT ALL HIS CASH IN A BUCKET
BUT HIS DAUGHTER NAMED NAN
RAN AWAY WITH A MAN
AND AS FOR THE BUCKET, NAN TUCKET

THERE ONCE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED BRIGHT
WHOSE SPEED WAS MUCH FASTER THAN LIGHT
SHE SET OUT ONE DAY
IN A RELATIVE WAY
AND RETURNED ON THE PREVIOUS NIGHT
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A FLEA AND A FLY IN A FLUE
WERE IMPRISONED SO WHAT COULD THEY DO
SAID THE FLY LET US FLEE
LET US FLY SAID THE FLEA
SO THEY FLEW THROUGH A FLAW IN THE FLUE
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THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM TIBET
WHO COULDN'T FIND A CIGARRETT
SO HE SMOKED ALL HIS SOCKS
AND GOT CHICKEN-POCKS
AND HAD TO GO TO THE VET