X BIBLICAL BLOOPERS **

Here are Biblical bloopers from Sunday school students:


*** FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT***

** In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, the Lord got tired of creating
the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

** Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree.

** Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

** Noah built the ark and the animals came on in pears.

** Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

** The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with
unsympathetic Genitals.

** Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like
Delilah.

** Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.

** Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread,
which is bread made without any ingredients.

** Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.

** The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

** The Fifth Commandment is humour thy mother and father.

** The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

** Moses died before he ever reached the UK.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.

** The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand
still and he obeyed him

** David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical
times.

** Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


** And... FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT **

** When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus- in
the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption.

** St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

** Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before-
they do one to you.
He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."

** It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.

** The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

** A Christian should have only one wife.
This is called monotony.

** The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

** One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.

** When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna
Carta.

** St. Paul cavorted to Christianity.
He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.