XXX ADULT PUNS!

A freshman college girl described her date with the star quarterback to her
roommate.
"And, you won't believe this, he unzipped his pants, pulled out his
erection, and asked me, 'Do you want some of this?'"
"Oh God! What did you say?"
"I said, 'No, thanks. But you go ahead. You really don't have enough to
share.'"

Little 4-year-old Melanie rushed into the kitchen where her mother was
preparing lunch.
Melanie was all excited, tugged one her mother's skirt, and looking up,
asked,
"Mommy, can a 4-year-old girl have a baby?"
Her mother looks at the small child, and tells her,
"Of course not, honey. She's too young."
The mother turning back to the stove hears the screen door slam, and her
daughter running across the porch loudly exclaiming happily,
"It's okay, boys. We can play the same game again!"


What do you call an empty Budweiser bottle with 15 bumblebees trapped
inside?
A redneck vibrator.


A salesman is visiting West Hollywood California, and checks into a local
motel.
As he was checking out the next morning, the desk clerk noticed that he
looked a bit frazzled.
He asked
"Sir was everything OK with your room?"
He angrily replies,
"Was everything OK? I wake up at 2:00 in the morning with this huge cowboy
sitting on my chest holding a pistol to my head. He tells me that if l don't
suck his dick he's going to blow my freaking head off!"
The desk clerk is shocked and asks,
"What did you do?"
The salesman replied,
"You didn't you hear any shooting, did you?"


Don't do it with bankers,
Most of them are tellers.


A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger on
top of his wife in their bed.
He says,
"What the hell are you two doing?"
His wife turns to the stranger and says,
"I told you that he was stupid."


You can tell you're in a tough lesbian bar
When even the pool table doesn't have balls.