Marriage India style

This is an actual letter (taken from The Times of India) in response to a
`Marriage Proposal' advertisement.

Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am
seeing your advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper.

So I decide to press myself on you and I am hopping you will make the
marriage with me.

I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna .
I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I
educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School , Bezna Road .

I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled
with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly.
Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast
baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are
running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. Balls are
bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.

I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy
always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I
giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how
nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things.
I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for
all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I
am going to jim and I am pumping like anything.

Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I
pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing
everywhere.

I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open
for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself
only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That
is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my
things into your hands.

Madam, if you are marrying me, I am telling you, I will be hardly loving you
everyday. If you are not marrying me then I will press you and press you
until you come. I am at your feet and slowing looking up, with hope. I am
waiting very badly for your reply why because I am stiff with excitement and
anticipation.

Expecting good answer and speedy replies to me in the future.
Namaste.
Yours,
Hiralal